What did the priest say when he smelled a parishioner’s fart in the church?
“Pew!”
July 9, 2011
A chef walked into his kitchen and caught the cooks arguing and making a big mess, even throwing fish at each other. “I’m closing the restaurant,” he sighed. “The whiting is on the wall!”
July 8, 2011
A friend of mine hurt her leg in a hurricane, so I got her a cane.
July 7, 2011
“You're fired!” the doctor shouted at the nurse. “The way you’ve been testing my patients has been testing my patience!”
July 6, 2011
“Dammit!” he yelled as he smashed the computer keyboard. “I can’t work this goddamned glorified calculator! Where the hell is the freakin’ cursor?!”
His wife, who was watching the whole time, said, “I’m looking at him!”
July 5, 2011
Nuns who want to quit smoking often play soccer to kick the habit.
July 4, 2011
Should the USA ban fireworks? I vote “nay,” since they inspire reminiscence about the nation’s nascence.
July 3, 2011
What’s a great white’s favorite way to barbecue?
With sharkcoal!
July 2, 2011
“This restaurant might be called ‘Oasis,’” she said, “but I just got lost in the dessert!”
July 1, 2011
“I don’t mean to pester you,” said the pastor, “but I hate plain pasta. Please pass the pesto.”
