Where do modern witch doctors get supplies for ceremonies?

Rite Aid!

What did the wealthy amnesiac say to his estate lawyer at the front door?

"Come in. Where are my manors?"

prosylactic: n. a latex hat that protects the wearer from being subjected to religious proselytizing.

“Whenever I leave the house on a Sunday, I take the precaution of covering my head, down to my ears, with a name-brand prosylactic.”

Why did the hermit have
more than one love doll?

He was polymeramorous!

What should you bring with you when you're not sure whether it's going to rain?

An ummbrella!

My favorite thing to eat during the Super Bowl is a bowl o’ soup.

The so-called discovery of the Americas by Christopher Columbus was merely Occidental.

What is a mummy's favorite type of music?

Wrap!

What does a Nazi turkey say?

“Goebbels, Goebbels!”